I think it's fair to say that this weekend has been one of the toughest in my life. What weighed the most was that it was my decision that has caused so much suffering... The decision was to have Charlie and Stöpsel castrated.
Whenever the boys had been restless, sleepless, and stressed in the presence of a bitch in heat, I always asked myself the question whether they'd be better of without this hormonal influence. But their stress always lasted only a few weeks. I know other males can suffer much more, even without any bitch being around. So would it be fair to have them castrated?
It's also not very easy to make a rational decision on that subject, as there seem to be only to possible opinions: either totally pro-castration, no questions asked, or totally anti-castration. On both sides, I heard arguments that didn't follow any logic, but both sides have their points of course.
Well, I decided to go through with the castration for basically 2 reasons. One, that my boys could always be relaxed and without stress - even with a bitch around. The second reason was Charlie's back pain, which seemed to have disappeared after a 1-month chemical castration, and which came back in the beginning of this year (at the same time, Stöpsel got stressed about a neighbour's bitch being in heat).
Until the day of the castration (Friday), I was having my doubts. And I was afraid of putting the boys through a lot of pain and changes that wouldn't be adequate to the gain they would get. But however long I thought about it, I always came to the conclusion that the castration might be the best for them.
And then came Friday. Everything started well. At 8 o'clock we arrived at the vet. The surgeon was a German vet, so it was very easy to talk to him. I have also heard of him before, and I thought my boys would be in good hands.
Charlie was the first to be operated. After the first anaesthesia, Charlie was taken from me and brought to the operating table. I went for a walk with Stöpsel, and when we came back, the vet was waiting for me with a big smile on his face. Everything went fine, the cut would be very small, the stitches looked good, and Charlie would already slowly wake up.
So then Stöpsel got his anaesthesia. And that didn't look too promising to me. It looked like he was made immobile, he laid down on the floor, but his eyes were wide open. Didn't look relaxed at all to me. And when the "nurse" came to get Stöpsel, he even jumped up and ran around the room. Now that wasn't comforting to see...
As soon as I sat down in the waiting room - I thought I would be taken to Charlie so that I could be there when he wakes up - a nurse came and informed me that the vet wanted me to know that charlie had woken up a lot earlier then he had expected and that he had panicked in the "waking up cage". He panicked so badly that he ripped the operation wound all open again. :-( So the vet had to anaesthetise Charlie again and to close the wound again. And then I kept waiting and waiting... difficult to say, but maybe 1-2 hours. Then finally a nurse came with Charlie in her arm. This time I was supposed to be there when he wakes up. Due to the narcotics Charlie's body temperature had dropped quite a bit, and he was freezing badly. The nurses brought me blankets and bottles filled with warm water, and I tried to keep Charlie comfortable. I could see that he had been very, very stressed, because he had lost a lot of fur and his entire body was covered in stress-related dandruff. :-(
After another hour, also Stöpsel was brought to me. He was still very sleepy, but seemed to be in a better shape than Charlie. At 14:00, the boys were awake enough to bring them home.
It was the first time in their life, that they wore a space collar - and neither of them liked it. Charlie just sat still and when I animated him to follow me, he ran very fast a few steps forward - just to bum into an obstacle and to freeze again. In the car, both dogs whined. It broke my heart. But I thought everything would be better once we were at home. I had prepared some blankets so that the boys could build themselves a "nest" and rest. This theory worked for Stöpsel. He fell asleep pretty soon.
But Charlie... he was looking very miserable. And soon I noticed that there was blood wherever he sat down. So I called to the vet again, and I was advised to cool the wound and to call back after 15 minutes. It wasn't easy to put an ice-pack onto Charlie's freshly operated wound, but somehow I managed. And indeed it looked like the bleeding would slow down. So I called the vet and told him, that we were probably fine.
Sadly, that feeling lasted only about 1 hour. Then, I wanted to cool Charlie's wound again - and was covered in blood. He was bleeding very badly - and then panic struck me. I wanted to bring Charlie back to the vet, but Stöpsel couldn't be left unattended. Luckily, I have a really awesome neighbour. Half crying I knocked on her door, asking whether she could watch over Stöpsel, while I went to the vet with Charlie. And she didn't hesitate a second! She just grabbed a book and then sat 2 hours next to Stöpsel in my chaotic living room, until she was replaced by Charlie's human dad (so to say... :-D ). Super nice!
In the meantime, I spend another 3 hours at the vet. My hands, pants, and sleeves were covered with Charlie's blood. And I had to wait for a while with Charlie in my lap, because 2 emergencies had gotten in at the same time. Finally a vet came, and she told me that they would apply a pressure bandage to the wound and then check for Charlie's blood coagulation, as it was very unusual that a dog would bleed this much after the castration (Stöpsel didn't loose a single drop of blood!). Again, Charlie had to be anaesthetised. :-( After a while they brought me Charlie so that I could be there when he wakes up. When I saw the pressure bandage I almost threw up. It looked so very horrible. Due to the bleeding and the second wound closure, Charlie already had a huge haematoma. His entire butt, legs and penis were swollen and filled with blood! And on top of that, the pressure bandage had been literally sewed to his skin! For crying out loud! Sewed to his skin! It was too much to see for me. While waiting that Charlie would wake up fully, another dog was being in pain and fear and he screamed so loudly that I could easily imagine somebody cutting him open without anaesthesia... I had to fight tears. I felt so very guilty that I had brought this upon Charlie! And I was scared. What would happen to him? Charlie was so very fed up with everything, too. It was difficult to get anywhere near him - he just growled and growled and showed his teeth... 12 hours after we had come to the vet in the morning, he still was being "tortured" by the vets. It's understandable that he's had enough of it all... ;-(
When I came home, all I wanted was to rest. It was awful to see the boys struggle with the collars, and clearly the wounds hurt, too. But even worse, Charlie's bleeding didn't stop. The bandage got red and redder... He just wouldn't relax. In the end, we took the collar off, and then at least he lay down. But nobody got any sleep this night. We constantly worried that Charlie would try to rip the bandage off. In addition, we saw him loosing blood all the time. It was a nightmare! I think the bleeding finally stopped at around 5 o'clock in the morning. But then the bandage was soaked in blood - and being sewed to his body, I couldn't change it myself. Close to hysteria, I again called the vet. Luckily, the vet had stand-by duty this weekend - otherwise I would have needed to go somewhere else. They told me that it would be necessary to change the bloody bandage, otherwise the infection risk would be too high. So again to the vet! Words can not describe how very sorry I felt for Charlie... :-(
The vet on duty was very insightful and empathic - with both me and Charlie. Because I had trouble keeping myself together as well. She told me to stay calm to not further stress Charlie out. And she promised to try to change the bandage without anaesthesia. Very carefully, she removed the stitches and the bandage, and luckily, the bleeding didn't start again. It wasn't painful for Charlie (to my surprise). And then she made him a new bandage, but a normal one, without any sewing! I was so relieved that Charlie didn't had to endure any further painful procedures! And back at home, we could finally rest a bit. I had been so tensed all the time, that my entire body felt sore.
And while Charlie was still struggling with the consequences of the operation, Stöpseli had already gotten used to his space collar. He walked around, bumping into things, but not minding it. He lay down with it, and he ate with this thing strapped around his neck. It was almost a bit funny to watch. ;) In the middle of the night, I woke up a couple of times, because I had a cone in my face. Stöpsel wanted love and cuddling and just didn't remember his bigger dimensions. :)
Today, there then was the last big problem to be solved. This time with Stöpsel. He still had a big band-aid covering his cut, and it needed to be removed. But the bloody thing was so very sticky! I hold Stöpsel tight, and Charlie's human dad tried to rip the band-aid off... but initially we failed. We were too stressed and too scared of causing pain. And Stöpsel fought so hard in my lap that it was difficult to hold him. I was ready to bring Stöpsel to the vet, and have somebody professional remove the band-aid! But then the German vet called to ask how the boys were doing, and he told me that we needed to apply oil to the band-aid, so it would be a bit less sticky. I was totally on edge, but luckily Charlie's dad got his act together and removed the band-aid. It was a heroic moment, because it felt like the worst would be over now! :-)
I am really grateful that I had so much help during this difficult weekend!!!! And surely I hope that the worst is over now! That the wounds will heal and soon stop to hurt. And that the boys will feel better - once and for all!
Charlie has bigger trouble to adjust to that cone, but he's doing better every day!
And btw, Charlie's blood coagulation is working normally! The only reason for the immense blood loss had been very high blood pressure due to his enormous stress at the vet. That's good and bad news at the same time, I guess. I now got from the vet a "calming medication", which Charlie had also participated in the clinical trials a while ago (and he seemed to have been in the placebo group). Everybody says that this medication really calms anxious dogs down, and I hope this will be true for Charlie as well. I will test this in 10-14 days, when we have to go to the vet to have the stitches removed.
But now, all that matters is rest and wound healing! For all the persons involved in this hell of a weekend! :)
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